Past three months and few hours, still stuck in swings of previous relationship. I argued myself, Isn’t it the time to recall some of my own crushes, I never bothered to pursue in 7 years of relationship. Ah! Might be, that was not the correct time to start with. Then when is the right time?
A colleague of mine is in a happy live-in relationship. Though she never sees the word happy in it. She finds a muse in her gym. A well built beefy foreigner must be a student of near-by design student. Now the fun begins; we start tracking him, waiting outside his school for an hour sipping coffee impatiently. In between I started the discussion, what are we doing here, if you claim to be in a happy relationship. She says, that he is just a crush and she just want to pursue it for a bit of time. WTH! Don’t we have enough hobbies to pursue?
She argues and asks me a question, how many crushes or infatuations had I had in past 7 years of my relationship. I couldnot recall a name that day. As a part of my new sleep cycle I woke at 2 am. I pondered a hell. And there they are, two names, two people, two identities. Ah!! So close to heart and far beyond reach. I wonder if they ever knew my feeling towards them.
But the real question is, should I return to my crushes to recover myself or will it be a rebound? A friend suggested that a broken heart can be healed with a new heart only. I think,I see that happening in my neighbour. But I am not sure of myself. Lost in faith and betrayed of trust, neither I can fall in again nor can I pursue my crushes.
Hell!!! What should I do?