A friend of mine, came running and crying towards me, short breath she said “I am Expecting”. I could imagine her happiness. We celebrated over muffins and a hot coffee. Constantly she was using the word “expecting” midst of our conversation.
Back at my lappy, I am wondering what does the word ‘expecting’ means to me. The book says, don’t expect in a relationship. The moment you start expecting from your partner, you ruin the relationship. I chuckled, how true! I expected from the very beginning of my relationship through end.
Later in a conversation, a friend who is getting married in November told me about her expectations from her partner. She quoted two things; Loyalty is not an expectation from my partner. It’s a must; which comes as a part and parcel of relationship. She won’t tolerate a bit of cheating from her partner side. She insisted loyalty is what relationship is. For her; expectation is that her partner should not try to change her. She wants that her identity be preserved post marriage. Change should be her decision and not his. Of course she will follow his social norms while she is in his social circle.
Asked to another friend, he expects, one that he wants to preserve his identity in relationship and second; that he wants her to BE THERE. I asked, how do you define BE THERE? Isn’t it a huge expectation?
What is being there? A friend who is in distant relationship wants her partner to be there once every saturday over an hour of phone call or me who gets uneasy in a distance more than 35 c.m.
I remember in my case, expectations were installed from the foreign viruses into the dumb head of my partner. I can still hear voices when we used to argue about me not been there when a poetry read was going on. Expectations which totally turned my world upside down and brought me into the world of literature. At present I can say, some expectations are our own and some are governed by social bitches.
Well, every relationship is about expectations. We don’t want to change, yet we change. We want to be loyal, yet we falter. We want to be there every moment, yet be are occupied.
In the era of quick relationships, where one jumps to another; while the previous one is still waiting to get uninstalled. Love has become a VERB and commitment an ADJECTIVE.